Solo Celebration

 Two sentences I absolutely cannot stand because they are overused and have become an excuse…. 

1. “Let’s talk later.” 
2. “I’m busy.” 

𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐍𝐎 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌!!!! 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄. 

I got some tremendous news yesterday…. And I shared it immediately with one person. Who was, in fact, excited for me! I wanted to ride that wave for a little bit sooooo I told two other people. Neither one could be bothered. One left me in silence and the other said, “Let’s talk later.” 

You know, whenever someone comes to me with incredible news, I make sure to do a victory dance for them. I make sure they feel seen, heard, and validated for whatever it is they accomplished. Sadly, it rarely gets reciprocated. 

Today, I have been celebrating on my own!  Yeah, it's Wednesday and I know most people don't have the week off as I do and I know “busy” is an actual thing, but these phrases get tossed around so often that talking later never happens, and being busy is another term for IDGAF! 

So here it is… THE GREAT NEWS THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF TO SEE… my book’s ranking has moved up exponentially. On July 8th… The last time I checked it was still swimming in a massive ocean. I was still impressed though because it was moving up…but last night was different. I saw it had jumped leaps and bounds. It’s now existing in a higher percentile. It's no longer in the millions. It's in the thousands. It's getting bought. It's getting read. Strangers are intrigued. 

It's kinda crazy though that strangers are doing more of the support than some of the folks closest to me. And, even though I say this… I never really want to believe it… BECAUSE AGAIN… I am the cheerleader for most people that I know. 

You got a new job… Congrats! That's amazing. 

You bought a new house, a new car, some shoes you have been eyeing… Yay! Let's have a housewarming, take me on a joyride, and where do you want to go in those new kicks of yours? 

You are having a baby or getting married… Very cool! What a fun new chapter in your life! 

You got something you have been working endlessly for… Good for you. I knew it was only a matter of time. 

In no instance have ever disregarded someone and their proud adrenaline rush with…  LET’S TALK LATER or I’M BUSY! 

But yet, here I am… Once again receiving that on my end. I guess I should stop expecting more and I guess I should accept that this is the way it goes for me. I should just understand that it's too damn difficult for some to be happy that I am doing the damn thing. 

Life is not a competition and I am not competing with anyone. I am, however, trying to be a better version of who I was yesterday. Although, it's getting tougher by the minute not to lose my shit on all the self-absorbed boneheads that are in my life. 

Go be busy somewhere else and no, let’s not talk later. How about we don't ever talk again…. Because, you know, the whole three seconds it took to say that… YOU COULD HAVE SAID CONGRATS! But, I guess, saying something supportive would have turned you into a pumpkin or a real person at least. 

Wait… this isn't about you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wanted to share some fantastic news. I am sorry I thought of you. I'm sorry I gave you more credit than I should have. Shame on me for thinking that you would have been proud of me or that you wanted to talk or that you possibly cared at all. I have been doing this on my own from the get-go so why would I believe things would ever change? 

And, if I seem a little mad… I'm not. I'm just disappointed. I'm just exhausted from being left out in the rain when I'm always the first one to show up with a fucking umbrella. 

It is what it is though and I'm grateful regardless. I'm grateful I'm learning valuable lessons and I'm grateful for all the strangers showing me support! 

I'm going to keep moving forward and when this book gets into that top 100 list… Please understand my silence on your end. I'm busy and we’ll just have to talk later. 

Until Next Time, 

X