You, Me, Randomly

 Hey everyone… happy almost weekend. Now that that’s outta the way, let’s get down to business. This post is going to be a little different. Not because I don’t want to talk to all of you… because believe me I do… buuut… before I proceed, I have to address the elephant in my room. The huge elephant that seems to linger and for a while, I’ve been curious about. 

So yeah… this blog post isn’t really much of a post at all. It’s a letter and it’s dedicated to one specific person out there! 

And… by the end of it, I hope YOU know exactly who YOU are. 

Shall we begin…

Yes, let’s. 

Dear Whomever: 

I am not really sure who you are? Although… I’m pretty sure you are one in the same. I have my suspicions but they are… just those… irritating suspicions. I’m not even sure you follow this blog or will ever read this entry but I have a feeling you do and you will. Call it a hunch… or a gut feeling… or call it whatever you like. 

I just have a feeling you are privy to new postings somehow. On my end, I can’t really tell but I do see certain things and I do see that this blog often times gets read in one specific location. You, my darling, are usually the first to read it and without going into anything else just yet… I have to say this first, THANK YOU from the bottom my heart for your support. I smile every time you show up. 

Before anything else, I need you to understand something, your presence often times brings joy to my day. It makes me feel seen and heard. It also validates what I do. You know, this whole writing thing. When you appear, which most times you do before anyone else, I know this isn’t all for nothing. I know that somewhere far away, someone out there is making my day. 

However, and just to be brutally honest with-because of the pattern that kept showing up- I was sorta testing the waters. Just to make sure I wasn’t seeing things or I’m not going crazy. 

Usually as soon as I write a new blog post, I promote it instantly on a social site that usually drums up a decent amount of traffic. I haven’t promoted my last few posts this way because like I said, I needed to confront an issue that has had me sorta tripped up. Lately, I haven’t said a peep. I just write but as I suspected within a few hours, YOU show you. Now on my end, I can’t tell if you have read what I write thoroughly but once again my gut is saying that you do because YOU have some investment in me not only here but elsewhere as well. YOU respond back in your own subtle way. 

Either that or this is all just one giant misunderstanding that couples as a coincidence that keeps reoccurring. 

When YOU respond, you don’t speak through verbal conversation per se…. instead you speak through song. 

I noticed you at first because I notice things in general but when it comes to music, I seem to notice even more and well that’s where you first got my attention. You showed up there like you do here and after talking about whatever it was I wrote about, you made a playlist for it. As if you were trying to talk without the commitment to verbal communication. 

Yes, there is such a thing as a coincidence but once those coincidences turns into patterns and a metaphorical light flashing in my face, this becomes no longer a coincidence but matter of fact. There is a purpose and a reason and I am clearly supposed to take notice. So here I am… asking about you. 

I could shake this all off but too many dots, like I said, have been connecting and for all those dots comes a trail leading to one idea. The idea being that the same person who reads this instantly without me promoting it anywhere is the same person behind that playlist. The songs always relate to me, what I have talked about or personal shit that goes way beyond both. And sure… if I think about anything long enough or dissect it hard enough, I can always find something that goes back to me but here’s the damndest thing, it all has one specific country in common. 

And here is where my mind is boggled… it can’t be a coincidence because at this point there are far too many to be considered a coincidence anymore. Either you are a complete stranger that stalks me on every social media page I have or YOU are someone I know as well as I can given space and time. 

Either way… it’s slightly irritating, mostly entertaining, but especially clever on your end. YOU want me to know you are there! And I do. Regardless, if I can’t actually see you or verify that you are the same person who reads this blog… and that’s okay. I respect your weird form of communication either way… and when I say slightly irritating please don’t take that offensively. I look forward to your musical presence as much as I do your activity through this page. There are not that many people out there that will go that far and that says something about who you actually are as a person. 

Honestly, I feel like there is something very familiar about you. Again call it a hunch or maybe just the music you choose right after I post something… and not just here, if I am speaking candidly. There is a slight chance you follow me elsewhere. I’m not trying to be all over the Internets but because I am a writer, I kinda have to but besides that, I like social media so I am going to be present in this 21st century type of conversation. 

This little dance we play, is nothing new. From the get go, writing and music have always been my form of communication so I welcome anyone to be a part of this club. There is a VIP section but I’m not picky and I won’t kick anyone out for wearing the wrong outfit.I just would like to know who YOU are and if my suspicions are correct. 

Because if if I have a strong feeling that YOU… the person that reads this blog consistently… are the same one making the playlists consistently, I still have to keep my ego in check.

A part of me still tries to convince myself that it’s nothing more than a big old bowl of random. 

And this too, I don’t mind. This balance keeps me humble. It keeps me curious and alert and it keeps me intrigued. When I have the time, I try to decipher every word from your playlist and some of those words are extremely beautiful. While others seem filled with anger and rage. I get it… we are all human and we are all allowed to go from happy to sad without an explanation. Even though I try my very best to look at the positive, I am guilty at looking at the negative just as much. Just know this those who truly care… which I do… allow for such up and down space to be had. 

Like I said, I have my suspicions about who YOU are and I could probably flat out ask but the reality is… you’d rather speak this way than in any other form… and quite frankly asking YOU anything seems like a waste of breath anyhow so instead, I just sit and decipher song after song after song and take what I can get. I accept that you are still there in your own special way and I am grateful. 

Some days though, I don’t have the time to go round and round with YOU. I don’t have the energy to figure it out. And that makes me super sad because I would give anything to solve this mystery flat out. 

I would give anything to have these dots that seem to connect be correct… at least I would know my gut hasn’t failed me yet. 

But it’s not like that and I have to understand that even though I want nothing more than to figure this out, it’s only going to become clear when the timing is right.

But such is life when you are trying to figure out these types of funny, random happenings. Just know either way, I appreciate YOU whomever you are. 

Who knows? Maybe some day soon the universe will make everything clear… maybe you will, in all your efforts, make sure I really hear you the same way I feel I get heard. 

Until next time, my friend… and as always… keep the music going. 

🎵🫶🏼🫀🫠✌🏻

~x~

Regina

https://open.spotify.com/track/26b3jonRe7liPsNAnzxVOX?si=_CMrA12CSnaU4V5CXq9zuA

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4LdDgAFb3jv8AGQlYHza7g?si=6LSQ9XPGTwyUDKXrjOc9iA