Christmas… The Time

 I keep having dreams about my friend—the one I haven't spoken to in months. 

In my lifetime, I have had a few fallingouts with certain friends and family members. Usually, it’s not that long before forgiveness is handed out and we both move on from the errors of our ways. It’s very rare if I ever have a falling out that lasts. 

The ones that haven’t lasted, I know our relationship ran its course and I have completely deleted them from my life. 

However, this “friend” is important to me. The course we were on is complete, but only because a new one needs to find its way. Also, we are both equally guilty of the way things turned out. 

So, I did something that I don't usually do—unless someone is extremely important to me and I see the value in our relationship. Regardless of the turmoil or ups and downs it went through. 

I apologized…

Given that it is Christmas, but also because I know I have been on their mind as well. 

More importantly, I don't want to go into the next year with any anger or repressed frustration. Things happened. Life for us took a different turn and that is okay. I am willing to look past all that and start fresh. 

As a friend. I don't need to know about this person’s personal life or about who they are dating. I don't even need to be involved in their social media life. I don't need to ask questions about us—but I would love to know how they are doing. Have they seen any good movies or shows, did they see the meteor shower the other night, are they taking any trips in 2025? Things like that. 

And, although, what happened between us was directly linked to me, I want to go into the new year with zero concern about how that affects me. Words are words and people say things all the time. Talking about me will happen—regardless if I am there to defend myself or not. 

However, I am staying in my own lane. I am not involving myself in messy love triangles or the “pick me” game that often happens when you have feelings for someone. 

And, yes, admittedly so, I did have feelings for this person. But, those feelings have changed. We live in two separate worlds and I at least had the time when they collided. I appreciate them for that and that will never change. 

When everything went down, they said something that still sticks, “I ruined any chance we had.” But, honestly, I’m not sure I ever had a chance and those were just words. 

The only chance I want now is that of friendship, mutual respect, and support for each other in our lives. 

So, I said I was sorry. For them and for me. We have a connection and that will never change… It will only morph itself into what it needs to be over time. 

If you are the one who is reading this—you know who you are. I am truly sorry for how things occurred. Despite everything, I do still care. I forgive and I hope you do as well. 

Merry Christmas, and may your holiday be full of beautiful memories. 

~