Lessons and Love

 Hello. So, I did it. I finished my rewrites for my second book. I went from a 48-thousand-word count to a 60-thousand-word count. 

What does that mean? Well, it means two things:  my book is now a novel and all that is left is proofreading. 

Before I left for my writing conference in Paris, I handed in this very short second book to my editor. I, myself, thought it was too short. Which, honestly, shorter books are fine I just knew it was missing parts and pieces. I was told at my conference that a book under 60k is considered middle school reading. I didn't want that. I am already battling commentary for the ‘Chic Lit’ genre—more so in my head but still… If ‘Chic Lit’ is what I am writing I want to make sure it’s damn good. 

My editor was excited for the conference because she felt it would inspire me to write more and it did. The conference did that and so much more. Specifically, it helped me release a certain situation that was hovering over my book series. When that went away, I created something bigger and better than what my second book was originally. 

Honestly, it can now be read on its own. Meaning, it doesn't necessarily need book one to survive. Although I hope it is still considered an essential part of the whole series. 

I gave myself these past few weeks to focus on it and finding a new job. Coincidentally, not only did I find a new job, but I also started my own little business. I'm a free agent in more aspects than one. I’m an author first and foremost but now I work for myself and call the shots on when and where I work. Right now I have a contract for three days a week, beyond decent pay, with the freedom to do other things. Benefits as well. 

This all started because I put value on myself. A lesson I have been learning since March… A lesson that was reinforced this summer when someone made me feel like nothing. 

I never expected to learn all these lessons this year, but I did and I am grateful for it. It’s helped me break out of an insecure shell. A shell that was holding me back—BECAUSE OH NO WHAT WILL OTHER PEOPLE THINK? 

I know there a tons of people out there who would love nothing more than to see me hide instead of thrive. My self-esteem has never been through the roof and that is because I let other people dictate how I saw myself. No one gets that control anymore. I know the work ethic I have, the creative brain I carry, and the intellectual integrity that those two take. If you don't like it… tough. I'm not going to shrink myself for anyone any longer. 

I don't need to prove myself to anyone because I only need to prove my worth to myself. This whole year has been an eye-opener. Before Paris, I was just trying to float and find my footing. 

After Paris, I got it. I received the message loud and clear. A weight was lifted and I went easy on myself. I allowed myself to mourn what I was letting go of and allowed myself to embrace an ego that I had never had before. 

Yeah, I am worth it. My books are good. I am great at my job. I am a beautiful person on the inside and out. 

Everything is coming up roses. And even when adversity strikes, I know I will be alright. Because even if others used me up and have tossed me aside, I still have me! The gorgeous, smart, creative me. My spark was reignited because I lit the damn match. 

So what am I trying to say… This… 

Some might not see the light you possess. Some might gloss over you because you aren't an easy target to walk on or you are not fulfilling their needs to rise while they diminish yours. Don't hide because someone or something has chosen not to see your value. 

You are precious and important. And by God, stop trying to get the attention of people who don't give a damn about you… Take care of your business, your life, your wants and desires. Throw away those who have disregarded you so easily, and make room for those who are truly supportive—even if it is just one other person. 

You got this. I got this. We got this. 

~x

Regina