Wonder Over Worry

 I made a promise to myself this weekend. This was after the final straw was broken. This was after a much-needed, eye-opening, epiphany. 

Good afternoon and Happy Sunday. 

You take the good with the bad and the only way to see the light sometimes is to go through the wretched darkness. 

So, I made a promise to myself. I cut ties with strings connected to my heart. I severed the belief that if one more chance is given, things will change. And let’s be honest, things will never change unless I change them myself. 

And, that's where I am at. The love is gone. My heart has let go. A connection doesn't mean forever and a soul tie doesn't mean a soul contract. I have held on too long. 

Now, it’s time to focus on me. It’s time to get myself back on my feet. To be my only provider and to change the scenery. 

For years I have taken apologies in hopes things would be different… but they never were. I have been dismissed and assumed that I would always be there. That's my own fault because I understand we all have faults. No one is perfect. However, when you start feeling like a doormat instead of someone special, views start to sway. 

He is not who he once was. 

They never were the person I met that one weekend. 

These two people that I am tied to… I have unraveled the knot and let go. 

And, no I can't automatically set myself free… but give it time. Mark my words… things will not be the same a year from now. 

The funny thing is I met both of these people around the same time. They are both French and both Leos and they both have a place in my heart… but that is where I leave them. 

They are one and the same and it makes sense how I fell for both. It makes sense how I have forgiven so easily when I always deserved so much more. 

In a way, they both understand me very well… but there is one thing missing… THEY HAVE BOTH CHOSEN TO THROW ME AWAY. Maybe not the act itself but the actions done. 

It’s a forward march without either of them in my line of sight. I'm just happy I’m stronger now than I have ever been. 

And, like the woman who just passed me said, “Choose wonder or worry.” I am doing just that. 

I am also choosing peace. 

~x