Trifecta and Trajectory

 I wrote a post earlier… like literally a few hours ago… about what’s on my trajectory. 

I mentioned three names: Alex, Norman, and Ed. 

I feel like I should explain more… Hello, again. Stick around, and spread the word, maybe my thanks will get to them just as I envision it would. Minus the strangeness behind a fan approaching a celebrity they don't personally know. However, in one of these men, there is a *separation of seven degrees.

Let’s start with the most recent… 

Ed Westwick — some of you… Okay, most of you know him as Chuck Bass from Gossip Girl. I know him as that guy from that one movie about the snowboarder I watched years ago when I first moved to Colorado and was learning how to snowboard. I know him as the other dude in the sequel to Donnie Darko. This didn't click until I watched GG and the only reason I watched GG is because it kept getting recommended to me on Netflix. 

When it was popular I was in college. I was working a night job. I was never available nor did I have a TV or time readily available to sit down and invest myself in a show. It just wasn't happening. Yeah, yeah I got hooked. The whole Chuck, Blair, Dan’s forehead, and Serena walking away took me under its spell. Not to mention… the music. Oh, the music! Well, done GG… well done. 

For starters, I knew right away he wasn't American. We talk fast… his speech was drawn out. That's where my Googling started. Ah, yes… British. Makes sense. Oh yeah, it’s that one guy from those other movies… makes even more sense.

Googling even further I found out he dated Alison Mosshart. My ex-lover’s dear friend. The singer of The Kills… phenomenal band, BTDubs. Solid taste in women, sir. And yeah, you might be wondering why I call my ex-lover an ex-lover instead of an ex-boyfriend… but that's what he was. I was under a strict bet to stay single for a year. Relationships leading up to this bet had worn me down and I needed a mental break. I needed to date. I needed not to be snatched up immediately by some guy who didn't have his shit together. I will admit I wasn't the best person to my ex-lover but I did stand my ground. I didn’t meet all of his industry friends including Alison because I was still trying to become my best self. 

That took a couple more years of growth to get to. 

Anyway, Ed popped into my life recently during a week that I had off from work. The same week I found out a beautiful friend passed away. It was either watching this show to distract myself from the anger and sadness and let the madness get me or choose other options. I chose the distraction. 

Of course, after this week off, I started following him on social media. I saw one post about going after what you want. All the feels. Word. That's exactly what I am doing… even more so now given the loss of a friend. Truth: no one should be dying from chemo, or cancer, or even before the age of 90. I said what I said. So yeah… when I meet him one day… And I know I will. I will tell him just how much he saved me from crumbling under the weight of death. And that speech about going after what you want… I am doing just that. 

And let’s be honest… he’s pretty nice to look at. I know it. He knows it. We all know it. 

Moving on…

Alex Høgh Andersen — Danish actor, diabolical maniac Ivar the Boneless from the show Vikings. Right before the pandemic hit I was coming back from Germany and stayed in Iceland for a couple of days. I swear somewhere in my DNA is Viking blood. On my flight home on Dec 30th, 2019 this show was one of the choices. I watched it from the time my flight left to the time it landed and I had to remove myself from the seat I was glued to. 

“No, you can't use the bathroom. Don't you see how invested I am in this show? Okay, fine!” 

Just kidding. I like the aisle and know what that entails. I will never complain. You will always be happy if I am in your row. 

I talked about this show on the way home. I, in between, wondering why there was little toilet paper in the store and my jetlag was blissfully unaware of what was looming ahead. Although I said it in my interview and have said it before in this blog, felt an intense energy on New Year's Day. Something huge was on the horizon. 

By the way, if we ever have another pandemic and the entire world shuts down may I suggest this: no one and I mean no one watches Contagion. 

Two months later… planet Earth is on lockdown. We can't go anywhere. We can't do anything. We are fighting over paper products and mask mandates. We are in a test for humanity and we are failing miserably. 

Vikings became my go-to. My survival in the shuttering of businesses, 6pm claps, curfews, travel bans, and to top it all off my mom being hospitalized for something unrelated to Covid but completely close to Covid and the inability to hop on a plane and go see her. Oh, did I mention my car engine blowing up around the same time? Yeah, I aged about 20 years in 2020. 

Alex became my saving grace. He became my entertainment. I learned this dance he did for a video, I read his fan fiction, and I worked out my abs by doing his slithery Ivar the Boneless crawl. It was either become consumed with all things Alex or jump off my roof for fun. As I said in my recent interview… when you have nothing you can do, you are finding everything you can do… because the house can only get so clean, you can only do so much laundry, and you can only exercise for so long before you start wagering with yourself the inventiveness you can come up with. 

Alex became a voice of reason as well. During lockdown, I reflected on all that I had done and all that I wanted to do. Writing again became a forefront. Between my blog and the short stories I was writing, my dream of becoming an author started to blossom. 

I will meet him one day and thank him. I will tell him, “Man if it wasn't for you… I’m not sure how my pandemic would have turned out or would have had the courage to chase a dream and take that leap of faith. Be fucking ruthless!” 

And, let’s be honest. He’s good-looking. I know it. He knows it. We all know it. 

Moving on…

Last, but definitely not least. In fact, probably the most important in just about everything from manifesting to finding strength in unsuspected ways… NORMAN FUCKING REEDUS. 

Now, this guy came into the scene long before he meant a great deal to me! My college boyfriend even sorta looked like him in his younger years. 

I became smitten when I was releasing a toxic relationship. The ex wasn't a bad dude, we had just run our course and as a GG line once said, “We're holding onto the pain because that was all we had left.” 

Then came the breakup, the separation of stuff, the moving out, and making the home we shared my own space. I was slowly approaching 31 and my life felt like it was in shambles. I didn't know what I wanted to do, who I wanted to be, where I even wanted to go. I was lost and I was depressed. It was Norman who helped keep me afloat until he didn't. Until that one night when fate had to choose, and not even a Norman clip could help. 

It was a battle between fate and me and fate fought back with a vengeance. Nothing worked and I wasn't allowed to leave that way. 

That year was harder than ending it all, but I trudged on, and in the midst of it I found an interview where Norman had said his life, “Didn’t really start until he was 40.” After his car accident, after a few tiny cult roles he played, and after he was much older and decided giving up wasn't an option. 

I told myself one day I would meet him. I promptly made a vision board. Found a photo of him and put it front and center along with things that represented becoming an author, moving, becoming financially free of stress and worry… etc, etc. 

You know, all the areas we tend to lean into when life isn't panning out the way we want it to. He became my focus. If he said hitting 40 made life better, I trusted that because the proof was in the pudding. 

Then that fateful weekend happened and I had just returned from one of the worst trips I had ever taken. There are friends you can hang out with and then there are friends you can travel with. Sometimes one will not bleed into the other and unfortunately, this was proven to me. I'm not innocent by any means. I was a hot mess on this trip because I was bored. I felt left out and secluded. I also came to realize that a woman I considered family talked poorly about everyone she knew. I was well aware that I was probably a talking point of hers as well a time or two. 

News flash, if you have friends like this… understand one thing… the second you leave the table you will become the topic of conversation. It’s not about you either… this is about them and their mentality. Find new friends. 

This trip was the beginning of the end of our 16-plus year friendship and I haven't looked back since severing ties. 

I came home mentally drained and a girlfriend came over so I could vent and share some wine. Once I was done venting she told me that our mutual friends were creating an event with Canon and that Norman was the host. She told me to contact them and not take no for an answer when it came to them hiring me for this event. 

You also have to understand I had chatted with Norman briefly on Twitter. I made a comment and he replied back. Very. Cool. Moment. A moment that amplified my manifestation. 

I didn't take no for an answer and within weeks I was in NYC promoting and working this event. It was long hours before the event itself and when the day came I was once again haggard as hell. Okay, I wasn't but my hair was a curly puffed out fro, I was sweaty, and I was working. It wasn't the best way to introduce myself or be seen. 

But, I didn't care. I was working hard and I loved it. I first saw Norman on the stairs. His team was leading him up and I was going down with my boss. We exchanged glances… and because I was so preoccupied with what I was trying to do and focused on listening to the list of things that still needed to be done, I didn't realize it was him until after the fact. 

I finally sat down for a moment at the check-in table and lo and behold my other friend said, “You just missed him.” 

Ah, but I didn't. I saw him on the stairs and if that was the only time I would see him… it was enough to validate that I could, in fact, manifest the shit outta my life. 

I didn't sit for long because I was a runner for this event doing everything under the sun and from afar I saw him and a gaggle of women falling all over him and following him around. It was quite hilarious but at the same time, there was no way I was going to go up to him and tell him everything I wanted to say. Not to mention, it would have been so unprofessional. 

A few hours later…

My boss comes up to me and says, “We want to take a photo with you at the event sign.” I laughed because again I was sweaty and disheveled, but I did it anyway. 

And guess what?

Norman was waiting patiently for our group shot.  Instant shyness took over. I could barely speak. I was in shock. I was introduced and during our photo, he pulled me close and whispered…” Sometimes the cameras and the lights get to me.” 

I laughed and said, “I can only imagine.” 

That was it. That was our moment… after that, he went back into the crowd, back into the gaggle of people following him around. Until a couple of hours later when the event was ending and I was collecting badges. He was in the group and turned to me and said, “Nice to meet you, and great job tonight.” 

He remembered me. Lol. I betcha it had everything to do with my wild hair. 

I still couldn't tell him how he had changed my life and how he had become a pillar for what I was aiming for. I couldn't tell him how he changed my path and my belief system… and that unknowingly he got me through some of my toughest days yet. 

One day I will though. I will get my second chance to speak up and let him know exactly what he did for me. 

And yeah, Norman is hot! I know it. He knows it. We all know it. 

Why am I telling you all of this? 

Easy. When you envision something, don't let it out of your sight. Make sure you work towards it and never let an opportunity slip from your hands. 

As Ed said, “We are on this tiny planet swirling through the Universe.” 

Shouldn’t we make the most of it? 

At almost 45, I can say that my life truly started at 40. I have become an author. I am striving for the life I truly want and I know I will get it. I am not just manifesting… I am working endlessly to make it happen. I am focused and driven and have a lighter stride. I am not so worried when things don't manifest right away… because, for me, they eventually will when the time is right. 

Nothing is far-fetched or unattainable. All you have to do is take the leap of faith, believe in yourself, and leave the naysayers where they belong… OUT OF YOUR LINE OF SIGHT. Out of your trajectory. 

I hope you all have a lovely weekend and an incredible week ahead. 

~x