She Got Back Up

 I let myself fall….

Seems quite fitting seeing that I am the author of the Falling Series. 

Happy Sunday, by the way! Wherever you are. I had a long talk with myself this week. Things went back right into a pattern that just doesn’t sit well with me. I’m pretty certain in doesn’t sit well with all parties involved. And without going into too many details… I really just want to stay normal if normal is even allowed. 

I want to be a friend and that’s it. I am pushing all of my anger and sadness and just want to opt for cool as a cucumber. Because our worlds will never align and because I deserve so much better than what I have been given. And, I use the term, “friend” loosely because it comes with a grain of salt and at arm’s length. As in, it can’t go much further than, “Hi! How are you doing?” 

Because I can’t offer up much more… because I don’t have anymore to give. In fact, I have released myself from any attachment that isn’t good for me. And, although, falling was fun—It was full passion and intensity… it was never secure or solid. It always wavered and weaved in and out. It disappeared more often than not. 

Most importantly, I have to focus on the grind. The things I am trying to accomplish and seek out for my future. A beautiful future filled with book pages and opportunities coming from said series.

Here goes nothing and here goes hoping that releasing what was never mine will usher in what always was. 

March looks promising. 

~x