Taking Up Residence

When I sleep I dream. I remember these dreams as if I was really there and for a while now my dream state is one of the main places I communicate with friends that have come and gone. 

Most of the time, I love my dream world… specifically one place I often visit and know like the back of my hand. I haven’t been to this place in a while though and last time I was there was last year.  Right before a certain someone I saw in my dream reappeared back into my life. 

However, they appeared as a stranger and I didn’t see the face. Just an arm full of tattoos and a motorcycle helmet that they wore. 

At first, I thought it was just another human I met in this dream place because I often do meet strangers here… but then when they stepped into my reality.. this meeting made more sense. This was them and this was a premonition. 

Now, I dream of them at least once a week… far more than I am ever willing to share. Not because I don’t want to, they just have made the choice to not make time for me in their life. Soooo… I don’t bother them with such silly things. 

Last night I dreamt of them again and this is now the third time, I have seen what they are actually doing. Like my dream matched up with their social media posts. 

Mind you, we live hours apart from one another and there is zero way for me to know anything beforehand. Like I said, this person has no time for me so how would I know these things anyway? 

But I did and well, what the hell does this mean… and why is this person taking up residence in my head? 

Why am I so in tune with someone who barely knows I exist? Why is this person so important to my psyche when I don’t mean a damn thing to theirs??? 

None of these questions are ever answered… and I’m almost certain that this connection only goes one way… ME TO THEM. 

Last night’s dream was different… this person pissed me off. I was so hurt by how callous and nonchalant they acted when it came to me. Which to be brutally honest, is the real fact of the matter. They are very careless when it comes to me. They can’t be bothered. I’m just another person in their life. No one special, just there.

But what hurt the most is that in my dream we were in the same vicinity. They were in the same room doing something I used to do and working on a project I very much love. 

We had a bond at this point and I was hoping we could talk… yet… just as in real life, they ignored me. However… this ignoring goes only as far as not talking. No matter the dream… they always seem to be watching me carefully. Watching every move I make. 

I see them, they see me but this is all a giant mirage. 

My dream was infuriating. I snapped at them because of how they were acting. I yelled something like, “I’m right here! Stop staring or hiding or doing what it is you are doing. Use your fucking words.” 

The dream moved from a large house to a shed or barn or some building outside where this person was now upstairs working and listening to me tell someone else how “They can’t be bothered with me and I am ready to walk away from it all.”

There was a loud bang. As if this declaration stirred something up in them. I looked up and saw their eyes staring back at mine. I wondered why they were there instead of the large house we were both just visiting. 

I wondered why they seemed to follow me around and keep me around. I wondered why they always showed up, especially if they had nothing to say? Especially if they’d rather chew rocks than have a conversation with me? 

I know it was all a dream but I also know my dreams with this person hit differently. They are eerily connected in a way I can’t even really describe. 

I want to ask them a million questions because I want to hear what they think. I want to know what they make of all of this. I want to know why they came back into my life. I want to know why they never speak. 

I want to know so many things but instead all I get is silence because asking is something I just can’t do. Not that asking would give any result anyway. 

And the silence is deafening. 

The silence leaves my head swirling from my own ego driven conclusions and 99% of the time, I’m concluding the worst. 

They ignore because they really don’t want to talk to me. They don’t bother because I don’t matter. I could be there or not… I could be the paint on the wall that doesn’t get a second thought. 

I thought dreams were supposed to be fluffy and light. I thought they were supposed to be filled with passions and weird potions that make you bigger or smaller given the cake. 

I thought the mysterious riddles get answered once the head hits the pillow and the room goes dark. 

Oh dream world, at least there you should be sweet to me. What happened? Why is my brain even going to them in the first place? Can’t I go back to my magical spot… the one with the hills and pools of water and that apartment I call my own. I like it there. It’s a lot less confusing than this shit I have been handed lately. 

Furthermore, don’t you think it’s time they dreamed of me? That I entered their dream world and took an extended vacay… FOR FREE. I mean, it’s only fair that the weight switches host bodies. 

Right? Riiigghhtt? 

Let them have the adventure that involves us and let me dream of losing my shoes at work. 

At least for a little while. 

Until Next Time and I Guess Sweet Dreams, 

X