Identical: The Midnight Dance

 

Happy 2021. If you’re reading this...pat yourself on the back. You made it through ten years worth of chaotic bullshit jammed packed into 365 days. Now Breathe. You are a warrior. 

And although I have zero clue about what this year’s future holds....I can say with the upmost certainty...it can only get better from here. Even if it does get challenging at times. Knowing what you know and dealing with what you dealt with in 2020, I am positive you’ll be able to come out of this year partially wounded but still strong enough to fight on. 

You lived through one year of a pandemic...you lived while having to stay put...you added a mask to your wardrobe, you lost some skin from washing your hands 50 billion times...you watched the world be turned upside down. 

And you not only had to juggle and adjust just about everything thrown your way simultaneously but you somehow managed to do all of this without setting yourself or a random stranger on fire. Even though you mulled over this choice more than once. 

Still, you made it. You. Are. Here. Reading my first post for the new year dated, January 2021. Thanks for stopping by. Thanks for the support. 

This isn’t another post about resolutions or making those giant leaps because it’s a new year. You’ve read enough of those already. Not to mention, a promise to yourself or a goal that you want to obtain are personal...and they don’t come with expiration dates. They are journeys, not races. They are the scenic drive, not the autobahn. 

Last year, there were things I wanted to accomplish and I most certainly did. Finally...but I’d be lying if I said they hadn’t been on my list for years now...because they most definitely have. And regardless of reaching them, I still have a ways to go. 

Reaching the goal is just the base layer. It’s just the foundation. Reaching what I wanted doesn’t mean, I move onto the next big thing because goals are like gardens. In order for them to harvest properly you have to tend to them. And that takes patience, courage and adaptability. It takes hard work and effort. 

And sure...I was like many of you...I did make my list for this year...but you know what...everything on that list branched off from the roots of my 2020 list. It mainly conveyed one massive message: KEEP THE MOMENTUM! 

For me...2020 was all about getting inventive. Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do, I focused on what I could. Instead of complaining about all these unimportant extras that were being stripped, I was grateful for all the basics I had. Things can always be worse and I have been in that bottomless pit of despair before and 2020 didn’t even compare. 2020 was a cake walk compared to other years I’ve personally had. 

Last year...I was asleep by the time the ball dropped where I live. I woke up briefly to say, “Happy New Year!” Quickly after that I was asleep again. To be fair, my body clock was seven plus hours ahead. I had just landed in the states from an overseas holiday trip...a trip that ultimately changed my life. 

This year...I danced exactly at midnight....indirectly setting the intention that no matter what 2021 brought, I would just keep dancing....because sometimes that’s all you really can do. Just. Dance. 

Dance when you’re sad. Dance when you’re mad. Dance when you need a release. Dance when you need to ceremonially bring new energy into your life. Dance just to dance. And make moves like as that saying goes, “like no one is watching.” 

I even videotaped me dancing I even went a step further and posted the video for all the social media world to see. Something my old self would have never done because my critical, judgmental side wouldn’t have allowed it. The old self would have critiqued the shit out of what I was wearing, my dance moves, the song I picked, my hair, my arms flailing about. 

My old self would have thought the worst of an activity that is so freeing to me.  

2020 was the year of creative doubts falling by the wayside. It’s also the year I learned it’s “wayside” and not “waist side.” 

*side note* 

I personally think waist side sounds better and makes more sense but who am I to question the grammar gods? 

This flame that had almost just about been snuffed out...sparked when I was introduced to the TV show Vikings and the actor Alex Høgh Andersen. The flame was kept lit by the musician Ásgeir. Two forces that came into my life at the final ending of that cathartic trip. Who knew two strangers and a show would have such an impact? Who knew a holiday would turn into an odyssey? 

I’m not one to geek out over pseudo celebrities. I’m not one to make them unintentionally a part of every move I make. But these two dudes were! Sure, sure I can ‘fan girl’ with the best of ‘em...but this wasn’t ‘fan girling’ at all...it was SO MUCH BIGGER than that. I wasn’t going gooey over some actor or some damn TV show or some musician...I was ‘fan girling’ over messages being received. I was ‘fan girling’ over myself finally not fucking disregarding them. 

I’m the type of person that observes everything but I most of the time these observations are taken with grain of salt. I’m a firm believer most things do happen for a reason but that can’t always be the explanation. Some things happen without any rhyme or reason and you’re forever left questioning why? And you’re forever left never getting an answer. Most of the time though, I have the ‘a-ha’ moment and all makes sense...and I’m grateful in that regard. Life is a mystery like that and you won’t discover it all in one sitting...so the whys that never get answered in this lifetime will in the next...at least that’s what I hope anyway. 

Either way, I take note of my environment. External and internal. Making mental notes along the way. I’m convinced with all the Dé jà Vu moments I’ve experienced in this lifetime, my mental note taking is a characteristic that has carried on in all my lifetimes. These select moments where an indescribable energy and every one of them take my breath away. They make my heart leap from my chest and do a double take. 

On January 1, 2020....this was one of those times. Something major was in the air. A shift was coming. Not just on the outside but internally. I knew this...I was overwhelmed by it...in the most humbling way. I was anxious and nervous but accepting to whatever was coming for me. 

The epiphany on my plane ride home...the self discovery I made overseas...all the missing pieces coming together...and those two strangers...hit me like an aggressive gust of wind. I opened a door that seemingly for years appeared to be glued shut. It took me by surprise. It had me falling through. It took the ground right from under me. Then again...I’m a klutz and the ground and I have always had a love/hate relationship. It’s the same type of relationship I have with all inanimate objects, to be brutally honest. *I’m the only person I know who can get injured by a fork that I’m simply just eating with. 

I digress...my klutzy tendencies aren’t important. 

This year I saw the sun rise again. I didn’t wake up to it like last year, I just stayed up for it. It seemed fitting. It might even become a tradition. I’ve done this a couple times but not with this type of intention. The sunrises before were usually occurring because I was young and awake...not because I literally wanted to see the New Year rise and give respect to the old one fading away. 

I’m not expecting anything to be much different than they were last year. I hope I get to travel more but until a pandemic settles down, the uncertainty of this is still up in the air. 

Honestly...this was the one thing I missed the most in 2020 because I did have a few trips planned and I was utterly and blissfully stoked about them then completely heartbroken when they didn’t happen. I was also devastated I couldn’t see Ásgeir live at this amazing music venue I truly love and adore. Tickets bought...show cancelled the weekend my state went into lockdown. Still, these feelings were fleeting. I got over them quickly...turning on the news was all it took. Feeling the world was more important than feeling sorry for myself. 

This year I’m taking every moment as is because what I learned last year is that moments change instantly. 

Acting accordingly to whatever the situation calls for is much better than having this grandiose plan that stubbornly can’t be budged. Just like last year...I’m staying flexible. Sanity appreciating the gesture. 

And just like last year, I’m continuing to step out of the suffocating skin I was in. My NYE midnight dance a testament to that. 

I just began this adventure and I’m still fixated on it. My attention span can’t see or focus on anything else. My inner critic is finally being silenced by bravery and unfamiliar actions and every day, I am being reassured the universe is listening. 

Now if I could just figure out what all the Nordic messages are about, I would be one step closer to this mystery unfolding. Lol.

I understand fully that they have something to do with my trip to Europe then to Iceland. I know they have something to do with that fated moment of clarity on the plane ride home. I know they have something to do with the necklace that stands for “luck” in Iceland. However,  I’m still figuring out all the vague messages in between? It’s not just my phone tracking interest. 

Seriously, if I got paid for the amount of times I heard Nordic this, Freya that..and everything in between I’d be a rich woman by now. I shit you not...this has happened even when I am not actively thinking about it. Something pops up. I mean, I was driving down the road a few months ago and vehicle passed me that had “DENMARK” on the license plate. I’m in fucking Colorado. In fucking the United States. Most plates here are a mixture of letters and numbers and yea...you can get a personalized plate and you do see them around but this was my first time seeing one with a country spelt out on it. And the fact that it was a Nordic country, along with everything else...means something. 

While writing this, I paused to look at the clock....it’s 4:44. Of course I smiled. If you don’t know about seeing repeated numbers...after reading this, go read about those. It’s a doozy. 

I usually have a symbol and a mantra for every year. This year the mantra changed, but; the symbol stayed. I’m not taking off this luck necklace until it breaks off my delicate little fucking neck. 

This isn’t random, these aren’t just coincidences. They are moments that have reasons attached and it’s up to me to find out what they are. The new year isn’t about a new path...it’s about continuing on the one I’m already on because I have barely scratched the surface. 

And for once I am perfectly content with that. I’m content with my list looking very much identical to the one I wrote last year. 

All the answers will come in due time. All the goals will raise their vibration as they should. I just gotta keep keepin’ on. 

On that note, it’s time for me to go...it’s Saturday night and I have big plans...I’m beginning my 2021 playlist tonight. Come find me on Spotify under Regina Hope. You can also find me on Twitter under the same name. If you want to keep up with every new post that goes out, this and my Instagram handle The Blogging Bae will lead you there. And if you like photography come and join the fun on my Instagram page at Hope and Wander Photography. Happy January everyone. Happy 2021 as well and may this trip around the sun shine brightly upon your soul. 

~x

hope

*****EXTRAS*****

number of protection and encouragement

[*] 444 is a number of protection and encouragement. It is a sign that you are currently following the right path. [*] If you see the number 444 repeatedly, it is often your angel giving you a sign that they are with you. The sign is reminding you to feel confident and supported in this knowledge.

Source, Google.