Friday’s For Promise

Hello, my beautiful ones! How was yesterday? Last night....this morning? 

Good, I hope. 

It’s about 9am where I live and a Friyay! I soooo absolutely adore Friday’s, don’t you? 

For many years, Friday was the prequel to my weekend. Nowadays, it’s either an extension to my workweek, a day off or somewhere smack in the middle. It’s up to me. I work for myself. 

Another version of me, used to have the “normal” Monday through Friday schedule. It was a cushy job: weekends off, paid time off, and benefits. All the bells and whistles...but guess what? I hated the monotony of it. I couldn’t stand feeling the case of the Monday’s because most weekends, my designated days off, were like an anxiety ridden speed race. 

You know what I mean...weekends flew by and before I knew it...it was Monday once more. I hadn’t breathed much less felt that any one task got its well deserved undivided attention. 

Between trying to make the most of my beloved weekends and tackling the rest of my responsibilities, I was exhausted. My whole being was exhausted. 

It didn’t help hating mornings and sure as heck didn’t help feeling like I was in a rat race that never saw nor appreciated my worth or value. No matter what I did I would never be respected nor praised. Not that I needed someone telling me I was doing a good job every five seconds but dang one should totes be paid for one’s hard work and effort. It was a monotonous hamster wheel that a) wasn’t bringing me any joy and b) wasn’t providing what my future self was envisioning. 

This apparently was what we should all be aspiring for though. The good job that leads to the big house. The big house that leads to a status quo. It was part of the American Dream....or so I was told....but what does that dream really entail? My version of that dream is completely different. It doesn’t involve a corner office, a house that matches or competes with the neighbors, a pricey wardrobe, or material goods that show just how wealthy I am. No. That’s not a dream, it’s conformity at its finest and yet it was this awful lie being crammed down my throat and it seemed that everyone around me who was telling me this was desperately to convince themselves of it too. The truth however, they were barely believing this bogus BS themselves. If it were true, why did all those folks seem so damn miserable? 

So....after that long intro...what exactly am I here to chat with you about on this beautiful Friday? Can you guess it? 

Well you’re correct if you said, “work life.” 

I’m not here to talk about work life as in how you pay your bills. That’s your business. I’m also not here to go over why I think you should do what I’m doing. If the Monday through Friday work thing works for ya...then roll with it. I’m not trying to change your mindset. 

Instead...I am here to talk to you about societal thinking when it comes to career terms, the money you make and how it relates ultimately being happy! 

I’m also here to reassure you that as long as you are, in fact, taking care of your shit....BE FREAKING PROUD OF IT!!! A job is a job is a job is a job and some might ‘oooooh and awwww’ in amazement with what you have and what you do..but most of us...really just don’t care. Most of us are just too busy living our own lives...on our own terms. Well, at least this applies for me. 

I despise the question, “What do you do for a living?” Personally, it’s invasive and most of the time isn’t being asked out of pure interest or curiosity. It’s being asked as a means to size me up. To put ME in competition with whomever is inquiring. 

Fun facts: 

1. Most cultures actually find this question completely rude and frown upon it. Yet...for some reason..it’s continuously part of the American small talk banter. 
2. For centuries talking about what you did or how much you made was considered taboo. People didn’t ask nor did you bring it up. It has only become a popular topic among recent years because we now live in a time where competition and consumerism reign supreme. 

When I get asked this dreaded question....and I do get asked often...I reply with, “I work remotely” then quickly change the subject. I leave it at.  I’m not trying to be an enigma...as I know this could mean many things...I just feel like it’s really no ones business but also it’s a tell-tell sign for me that substance won’t go beyond a bank account. 

If people get offended when you don’t go into great lengths about what you do or what you plan to do or how you pay your bills and live life, that’s on them. Not you. 

You are in charge of your own happiness. 

If you’re happy with the career and life you have...then be happy 💯! You telling all those who ask isn’t going to change that. You’re rocking it!

If you don’t mind talking about what you do for a living, great! No shame in your game. It’s just not for me and I’ve seen how condescending and belittling this conversation can be. Your titles ARE NOT the only identifications you have and a vagabond can live as contently as a millionaire. A janitor deserves as much respect as a CEO. 

However, if were like me and not 💯, keep going until you are! There’s a lot of time between ‘here and now’ and ‘way back when.’ 

I found out through all my careers moves that working on the weekend wasn’t necessarily a bad thing and that I didn’t hate it like I was supposed to. Like I said before, I work many a weekend. They aren’t thorns in my side they way they used to be, just part of the whole of the greater gig. The only difference is I work those weekends for myself now. I am in charge of my own empire...my own bubble, if you will. 

Part of this change came with finally accepting that I just disliked the whole working for other people part! I knew getting to badass boss babe status would take commitment and showing up. In addition it would take discipline and patience. For as long as I can remember, this has been what I have ultimately wanted as the end game!

Now I’m an older gal. Meaning-I’ve lived through my 20’s and well into my 30’s and you couldn’t pay me to go back to either of those insecure times. I never felt comfortable in any office job-I would get bored and cringe every time office politics or office gossip took place....even when I was sucked into it. I tried desperately to rewire my brain and acclimate but no matter how hard I tried to force those pieces to fit, they wouldn’t. 

Regardless, I was still taught valuable, all over the place, life lessons. 

I learned that I worked better in a hands on environment. I learned that I could still have passions and integrate them into viable income. I learned that I was in control of my own destiny and to be totally honest, this knowledge has saved my life. 

For love of God, people! Rome wasn’t built in a day so why do you think your passions have to come into fruition over night. You are allowed to change, tweak and grow into someone completely different than who you once were. 

You know, most of my life, I constantly told myself, “I want to work from home. I want to work for myself” but when I told other people this I was laughed at, judged, and thrown into this competitive chokehold. 

It took many trials, tribulations and mistakes getting where I am but it also took many years of focusing on the end result. I manifested and created. I watched those manifestations and creations crash and burn and then I did it all over again. I was determined to feed this cognizant personal development. 

I still have a ways to go but then again, don’t we all? The first steps are always the toughest and being my own boss is definitely a juggling act and it doesn’t get easier the more I move along. I advice anyone who wants to be an entrepreneur to NEVER GIVE UP. Heck, this is my advice for most areas in life. Another recommendation-take it or leave it, it’s your life. Never give up that other job...the one that pays....even if you absolutely can’t stand it...until you have comfortable footing. Plan and prepare for the worst, not because that’s what will happen but just incase it does. Paying bills is a good thing. Being able to eat...also a good thing. 

Having a security blanket to ride on while you fly into another destination is far better than blindly jumping out of an airplane with a broken parachute. If ya get the metaphor? 

That’s a metaphor, right? 

Lol. 

Essentially, it’s easier to fall when you have a cushion. 

Pro tip: 

Breaking chains will cause all sorts of alarm and even some relationships. 

Back story: 

When I decided to move away both physically and mentally from one chapter in life to another, unwelcoming opinions swarmed about. I lost friends and family members on the sheer fact, that they wouldn’t do that! Mostly though, it was because I was no longer seeking their permission on what I should be doing with my life. 

No joke. In one year, I lost more than 20 people that I considered close friends or family. Not because of death...although every ending felt like that...but because they were never in my corner to begin with. It took being happy and excited about life to see this and that was utterly heartbreaking. I still think about these folks. Some days with anger, others with sadness but most with resolve. 

Be that as it may-when my mom almost died and my husband’s stepmother did  die almost within a year of one another, perspective set in. 

Life is fleeting and if happiness isn’t supported by those who surround you, figure out who is because those are the ones that count. Those are the relationships that need your reciprocation. 

My mom is one of my biggest fans and while all these other people were leaving right and left, she was standing there. Fighting to be there. I didn’t oppose the disappearing act because I had a much more precious relationship to worry about. 

An individual’s true nature can be a tough pill to swallow, especially if it’s shrouded in negative energy. It could be jealousy or competition or just someone who’s downright mean spirited? Whatever it is, it has nothing to do with you. Don’t worry...true tribe members will cheer you on through all your endeavors. Keep those people around, appreciate them, make room for them, and feel blessed the trash took itself out. I’m not calling anyone trash but look at like that....ever walk into a room with a trash overflowing. It’s messy and gross, right? Well....once the trash is picked up...the room has potential. You want to keep it a clean and beautiful space. 

Even at its lowest points, my independent work status still lights a fire under my ass. In my soul, I know as long as I keep marching forward, keep trying, or starting over if need be...I will be alright. The entire kitten caboodle will turn out the way I envisioned it to be for years on end. 

Any life fulfilling goal should not come with an expiration date. Every aspect of your life comes with growth, teaching and change. I’m not that same woman I was in my 20’s or even my 30’s and thank goodness for that. I love who I am today. I’m more secure and grounded and surrounded by ally’s rather than frenemies.

Your passions are the same way. If your passionate about your path give it the chance to become its own natural entity. Don’t be afraid of challenges or critics. Do you and walk with your head held high. 

If your lacking passion: explore, try, do and discover. Have the willingness and humility to fail or change course. Have a deafening ear when commentary from the back chimes in. Stop doubting limits and possibilities and for love of all things-stop thinking you don’t have what it takes to get you where you gotta go. 

Dream big and hard!!! Forget the social norms or people who think your living a pipe dream. Forget being ashamed of what you do or who you are. Life...although it feels like a competition most of the damn time...is not one! 

*grab your favorite bevy ‘cuz I’m about to get real/real for a sec. The topic of *income goes hand-in-hand with my disgust for the question, ‘what do you do.’ I loathe these discussions. Unless you are genuinely interested in doing whatever the person you are talking to is doing, the subject of someone’s income should never come up. Yet it does. Just like the job...it usually comes before or after either question is posed. This goes both ways too. Just like I don’t want to be asked, I’d prefer not to hear how much you make either. Most people are clenching so tightly to the idea that money is everything. It does do hella good, I’m not denying that....but it’s a tool. The attached idea that you need to throw money into the mix of conversation is absurd to me. I’m not into the pissing contests so can we broach other subjects for once and for all. 

“Seen any good movies recently? 

Oh! Did you read that recent best seller? 

Oh my Goodness did you hear on Facebook a giant meteor is going to crash into the earth soon and all your material goods and money and titles won’t mean shit but your character will?” 

Kidding...not kidding...but seriously though...in such a progressive society...like we eat with forks and knives and we’ve evolved from clubbing each other in caves ...shouldn’t we be able to figure out a different narrative? One that isn’t this redundant and boring? 

With that said, drink finished...rant over. Ha. 

Just like this post. I’ve got dreams to do and housework to celebrate. It’s Friday, y’all. 

Talk soon and remember go for what YOU want! It’s just a matter of time before it becomes yours!