Some Kinda....

 And I am back. Yeah, yeah… life is still sucking hard but there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it. I just have to ride this wretched wave until it crashes into some rocks or floats me out to an abandoned island where a ball becomes my only friend. Since the name Wilson has already been taken, I will name said ball, Fred. 

I saw this post a few hours ago that said, “Things crash when you are ready to elevate. So rise like a boss.” Or something like that anyway. I scoffed at this post and rolled my eyes as well… because if that’s really true then I should be flying high by now. Instead, it’s one bullshit thing after the other. I’m surprised I wrote a romance, fiction novel because given my life it should have been a Lifetime drama. 

For those of you that don’t know what Lifetime is… well it’s a TV station specifically catered to movies that are all things terrible. Obsession, murder, stalking, sneaky family greed… you name it… they have a movie for it. I rarely watch this channel but after the last ten months… hell, the last couple of years I am beginning to think that I should. At least, I don’t have a cheerleader stalker mom on my back. Oh wait, I did. This happened in high school for three years! Check. Check.

I saw another post that said, “Staying negative only creates more negativity.” Well, damn… there ya go. Problem solved! My life got flipped upside down because I wasn’t positive enough. I guess when you are losing everything, you’re still supposed to walk around with a fucking smile plastered to your face and you’re absolutely supposed to still shoot rainbows out of your ass! Good to know… thank you for your sage advice. Lemme go get my fake smile on real quick! 

A couple of days ago I saw a post by that lovely Kim Kardashian lecturing all women, “That if you wanna be a boss… you must work your fucking ass off.” As if to say, the rest of us ladies aside this lovely gem of a family are lazy good-for-nothings asshats. Rich coming from a woman who made her fame from a sex tape. Wise words coming from a gal that literally was born into a family with money. The same family that defended OJ Simpson. I don’t say this often but I am loosely related to this family. Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner is my Uncle’s relative. So from one family member to another… STICK A FUCKING SOCK IN IT, LADY! 

I, for one, have been working since I WAS 15! At 41, I work two jobs and am publishing a book. To assume that my life is in shambles because I am not “working hard enough” is not only a slap in my face but a punch to every woman busting their ass just to survive. But by all means, please continue on with your Ted Talk. 

For the record though, I’m not a negative person. I have been through so much in my lifetime that there is zero time to sit and stew. However, in this moment… I am pissed off and I am allowed that. I am allowed to be angry without fear that I will be penalized for that anger. I am allowed to be sad without the fear that some blowhard deems it necessary to tell me my life is the way it is because I am not running around skipping and jumping through a field of fucking daisies. 

I’m still in a place where the Universe can quite frankly “FUCK OFF!” Because like I said in my last few posts… until it starts acting right, I am no longer having faith in it. And at this point, there isn’t much more that could happen. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if an airplane toilet fell on my head. Hey… at least I still have my sarcastic wit to carry me through. 

When Lil’ Kimmie says, “No one wants to work these days!” I laugh. I find humor in such a blanket statement because all I see is people working. Unlike the woman blurting out this utter nonsense. The difference is “we” (most of the world’s working population) are dead tired and exhausted from watching someone being fed grapes griping about work ethic. And while we are at it, I hate the whole concept of ‘side hustles’… I will BRB… I gotta go find a third job to squeeze into my 24 hour day. Here is a novel concept… how about you Richie McRich Rich work for a change. How about employers give living wages. How about you in your cushy life, pipe down and shut up! Too negative? Too harsh? Well, reality sucks now doesn’t it? Especially when the mirror is reflected back to you. 

It is the 21st century and no one… I mean NO ONE deserves to be struggling. There should not be one poor person in any country… when those very countries have their own set of millionaires. Most of these people did not work for those millions. They had others making them rich. And I hate to use the “S” word for comparison but yeah… most of us are all in this modern day SLAVERY hamster wheel. 

AND FOR WHAT?!? To die at the end from some stress induced heart attack. Here Lies The Blogging Bae… she crocked while delivering a pizza! It was her 15th hour of working on her 5th job… but hey, “She should have been working harder.” By the way, I don’t deliver pizzas… yet! 

I will repeat this again… the one thing keeping me from not going buck wild is my book. It’s the boat keeping me riding this treacherous wave. A positive note: it’s completely done. Fin. Now we wait for it to come out and sales to come in. Goddess Bless! I need those sales.  

***** POST BREAK ***** MOM CALLED *****

Because mother’s have a knack at knowing… and my Mom knows what’s up and everything that is going on… 

In order to cheer me up, she makes jokes! Jokes that are real and actually funny. Like this one, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. By the way, why do they call it a gift horse? No horse has ever brought me a gift.”

“Yeah, Mom… that gift horse when you look at it directly is ONLY going to kick you in the face. I don’t like horses anyway.”

I laugh, she laughs, we laugh together. I guess now I still got my sarcastic wit, my humor and my book. 

Eventually I hope my blog gets to a place that reflects much happier times once again. I apologize to all of you faithful readers for the “woe is me” posts as of late but as you know, most of us writers use the written word as free therapy. I know it breaks both my mom and sister’s heart to see me in this saddened state. I am usually the one cheering them on. Telling them, “Things will get better.” However, I still stand firm in my beliefs that in order for things to get better, life doesn’t need to turn into a blazing fire of despair. I can have an amazing life whilst expecting other fantastic things to happen. These two don’t need to be pitted against one another. 

So okay… this 'gift horse’ is kicking me repeatedly. So okay… I have to be more positive and work harder.  So okay, life goes on and most of the time it’s a bumpy ride. So okay, I guess my next big purchase is an armored suit and a helmet. 

I promise soon enough, I will have something to smile about again but for now, it’s a barrage of fuckary and that’s where I am just going to be. Going through it and living through it until I can look back and scream, “Ha. I made it.” 

Until Next Time,

The Blogging Bae  

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