The Blogging Bae

                            *image found on the internet* Happy Fall Equinox… Everyone… Wherever you are.  With each season brings new-found change and I for one am happy summer is over. It was a rough one. Emotionally speaking. At the tale end of it though, I received the greatest gift ever— a new set of eyes for my second book. I found my inspiration and it was inside of me the entire time. I just had to travel to Paris to realize this.  Last night when I was relaxing I got to thinking about everything that has transpired over the last few months. Being used for someone else’s gain, having the rug pulled from under me, and facing the truth about how someone I truly cared about felt about me. I'm not angry. I'm just sad and disappointed in them.  But with the changing of the guards comes a new perspective and that is this: I needed to see the truth so I could take the rose-colored glasses off. And just like they served a purpose in my life— that I will forever be grateful for—

  There have been many times in my life when I have resented coming home after being abroad. I'm not happy returning to the States and long to return to some magical places I was just visiting.   However, on my most recent trip, I was ready to leave. I was excited even. Honestly, I was super depressed in Paris. It was very different from the last time I was there. I know the reason why but I also concluded, that Paris isn't the city for me. Don't get me wrong Paris is a lovely place, but I was there for a writer’s conference.  A very intense and week-long therapy session on how to become a better writer. I wasn't prepared to rip myself apart and dig deeper. I came in being the only fiction writer in the group. I was exhausted by the time I came back to my Airbnb. I was mentally zapped and physically drained. It also didn't help feeling like I had to hide myself away once I got back to where I was staying.  The first few nights I was there, I let my guard down and ch

  Hello. It’s been a while. I almost walked away, but this blog is part of me and I just can’t hide anymore.  It’s not fair.  It’s not okay that the reason I was forced to walk away was because someone couldn't admit their wrongdoing.  That they chose to make me the villain in their story instead of owning up to the mess they created and their actions behind getting caught.  I went against my better judgment and reached out. I was told I should. But, in all honesty, I am not sure I should have been the one to extend the olive branch.  I was the one used. I was lied to and talked about. I was shit on when all I did was care. I was used for information and used to be someone’s ego boost… and yet here I am wanting no ill-will. Why?  Because that's who I am. I am a decent person.  I have been in Paris for the last week for a writing conference and that in and of itself was an awe-inspiring event. It was also exhausting and emotional.  Yet, because I didn't play victim or run a

  My blog. My rules.   I wanted to eliminate one thing and it came back… with a hilarious vengeance. So mad.  For what?  I am not even sure.  We haven't been in touch for almost 60 days... Until now.  But, I got Karen’d!!!  Although I am not even sure how that would work.  Cops: How can I help you? Them: Someone did something I didn't like.  Cops: get. Counseling.  So, you have my attention I guess… that's what you wanted?  Here then:  I don’t like you.  She came to me.  You both are desperate and bored. You are bald and broke and need constant attention.  She would rather make women the villains than look at herself and feel shame.  Neither of you get it.  Not my monkey nor circus.  I HAVE BETTER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT THAN SOME GUY AND HIS “weekend fuckbuddy.”   *One Saturday for four years off and on…  Cool, you met his family. How’s that birthday treating you? Those dates?  Not my problem… just never claim sisterhood ever again.  Just for the record… I said follow your h