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Hello, Goodbye… Everything in between

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  Hello. I hope you all are doing well.   I am sitting on a plane headed back home. To the home I created when I left the east coast almost 12 years ago.  Thoughts are flooding my brain.  On Tuesday, I flew back to say goodbye to a soul sister. She was 45, a mother, a friend, a wife, and someone I will never forget. She died from complications of breast cancer. She didn’t even get a chance to fight the cancer because the chemo killed her first. I’m angry. I’m sad. I’m all over the place.  It was nice to be back with my girlfriends though. The tribe. The core group of women that if you saw one of us, all of us weren’t that far behind. We laughed. We cried. We shared stories of our beloved friend.  I had always thought I was one of the last to leave that artsy, musically inclined town… but I wasn’t. I found out that during our mass exodus, I was one of the first… I was the third to leave. Right behind my friend who passed away.  We all left for different...
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Seven Degrees

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  In two days I fly out to go back east. I’m so tired of going back here just to say goodbye and fucking cry.  I’m so angry. Why? Why? My beautiful friend was diagnosed with breast cancer in December. The kicker… it wasn’t breast cancer that killed her. It was an allergic reaction to chemo. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!  I have been a mess. I haven’t broken down in tears but my mood has been an absolute mess and I am doing my best to hide it. Be strong. It’s taking every restraint not to want to take my fist and start punching things right and left.  I thought going into a Gossip Girl hole would help and it did. Until I learned the dude on that show that yeah—if my book was made into a movie—I would consider to ask to play the part of Alex. He isn’t my first choice because of course the guy needed has to have striking blue eyes, but still… Nothing contacts can’t fix. That’s    not the point. That guy apparently dated a woman who is besties with an ex-lover ...
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Take A Chair

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  I have the next two days off. I decided to get some beer for tonight and I doing my due diligence to ensure there are zero emotional outbursts. Given the heightened state of my emotions, it has to be done this way. There is no reach… only me in my little YouTube Chuck and Blair hole.  This couple and their up-and-down, passion-filled love affair is the only thing keeping me sane.  Who are Chuck and Blair? They are the infamous couple on  Gossip Girl . I was too old or working nights as a server when this show first came out, or I was hanging out with my friends-including the one that just passed away.  GG always lingered in the background as that age group’s  Beverly Hills 90201 , and I am hooked. Blair and Chuck are what Brenda and Dylan were supposed to be. A love that never faded and finally got to see things through.  I don't really watch a lot of regular TV but since I now have a television in my bedroom, I now have a chance to veg out on all th...
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The Memories Linger

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  Growing up, I didn't have a sisterhood. I didn't have an alliance of ladies with whom I did everything with. I didn't partake in many sleepovers or spend my weekends with a core group of girls because most girls were terribly mean.     Jealous. Clique(ish). Petty. Bullies. Just shitty. It’s why and how I learned to fight.   Throughout elementary and middle school, I was happy enough with my one or two close gal pals!    That's all I really needed.  In high school, girls became more vicious and the trust was only held in one girl’s hands. We did everything together. She was also the only “friend” who did not sleep with my boyfriend.  For a while, I didn't really have any girlfriends. My friend's list was all dudes and I was content with that. They were like brothers. Protectors. Fun to be around and had my back at a moment’s notice.  Then something happened a few years into my college days… I met a tribe of women that I not only trusted but ...
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The Trip I Didn’t Plan

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  Today was a day. It was a lot all at once.   Next week I will be flying back to the east coast but I hate visits like this. I hate the reason why, and the black dress I will be forced to wear.  I hate that the world is cruel sometimes and beautiful things get taken away, but despite the tragedy you still have to move forward somehow.  I don't know what else to say… except I am sad. I am in shock and I can't decide whether to scream or cry.  🖤
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Sparkle and Shine

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  Happy Saturday and I hope everyone is having a solid weekend—or at least trying to.   I get it… There are many factors that can make a day go sideways. Just remember, there is always something out there that can make you laugh or something you can do that will help you forget your troubles for a while. I'm not saying avoid them… I am just saying life is too short to sit around being sad.  Believe me… I could go into it, but I would rather not. This blog isn't meant to drudge up or harp on any more shit we are all forced to swallow.  With that said, let’s move on.  I've had the last week off and I pretty much did everything I wanted to do mainly though I relaxed and focused on my book series.  The week started with a meeting to expand my series to other avenues. It ended with me signing a contract to sell my book in the most darling bookstore I have ever had the pleasure of stepping foot in. Not bad for a week off.  I read, I exercised, and I cleaned ...
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